I have a small confession to make, and that is that while traveling I have been saying that I am further along than I am. So even though I was only about 18 weeks (4.5 months) when we got to Thailand, when certain people asked – depending on how I felt they may react – I increased that number, and said five, or even six months, because it was awful when people replied with comments like, “oh wow, you are so big already!” or even worse, “oooohhhh wow!!!” and then they kept looking at me in a weird judgemental way. I really don’t think that this would happen where we come from – neither in South Africa or the States – because there it is acceptable for women to pick up weight (even too much weight) while pregnancy. But in Asia it is just different because women are smaller and they don’t carry as heavy when they are expecting. What I look like at five months pregnant, some women look like at seven months pregnant.
Still, I don’t think it matters who carries heavier, or how fast your belly grows. All that matters is that you are gaining weight appropriately and that your baby is healthy. Yet some people are complete insensitive idiots and they make comments that can really hurt a pregnant women’s feelings!! Besides all the unwanted comments about how my life with never be the same – dah! I’m having a baby, why would it ever be the same?! Thanks geniuses! – the last thing any pregnant women wants to hear is how fat she is, or how fat someone else WASN’T when they were pregnant!
Earlier this week a British guy at our resort asked me when our baby was arriving. I felt that since he was not Asian, I was “safe” to say how far along I really was, so I told him that baby was arriving in June. Then he stood back (for an awkward amount of time), looked at me and my belly and then said, “June?… June? Your baby is coming in June?? Haha. Wow.. How many do you have in there?”
Oh my word… I nearly died of embarrassment. He then went on to say how his wife had three children and she was my size (aka huge – in his eyes) right at the end of the pregnancy!! He then laughed for a while and said, “wow, June!!” I stood there shocked, but with a brave face I laughed it off saying that big babies were common in my family. Inside I was gutted, and looking back I wish I had to told him how his words had hurt my feelings. If for no other reason but to make sure that he never said that to another pregnant women.
I have been trying to enjoy my vacation and not worry about my weight – savouring my meals, eating what I want, and just enjoying being pregnant – but that comment completely crushed me. I went back to our bungalow and all I could see in the mirror was a huge fat whale!!! My boobs are incredibly big and it makes me feel worse because they add to my size, not in a good way, and make me feel very large. Up until those words were uttered, I felt pretty good and was enjoying showing off my growing belly in cute dresses and skirts. But in one moment his insensitive comments crushed my self esteem, and I was sad for a few hours. It’s amazing how one’s poor choice of words can cut so deep!!
It’s been about a week since that jerk made me feel awful, and I’m almost completely over what he said, but praying that for the rest of my pregnancy I don’t come across anyone else who thinks that it’s okay to voice their opinions about my weight gain. Asian people have a tendency to do this without thinking, so hopefully I don’t get to school and hear that I’m “fat”. I haven’t been emotional case during this pregnancy and for that I am thankful, but the next person who says something rude might just get a side of me that they really don’t want to see. Seriously – who messes with a pregnant woman?!
And that’s the end if my little rant…
Be nice to pregnant women – they deserve it!!